Small suffering counts too: “We have gone too far in that we should always be optimistic” | Chantal van der Leste

Small suffering counts too: “We have gone too far in that we should always be optimistic” |  Chantal van der Leste

Behavioral psychologist Chantal van der Liss examines our behavior in the workplace: Who or what determines our daily decisions? Today: Even minor labor pains matter.

I actually think this is nonsense, but secretly I have been suffering from corona infection for two weeks now. My brain feels like a bowl of strawberry curd, the information doesn’t want to get into it and there are no ideas either. I also find it hard to get my body out of bed, off the couch, on the bike, let alone on the computer. woe to me. But when I complain, I feel guilty. Because war is worse, the news often reminds us of that. So: Cheer up, life is beautiful and stay positive. or negative if it relates to a corona test.

We Dutch don’t like complainers. You are not allowed to say you are hungry, because “children in Africa are only hungry”. You can ride a bike well in the rain, because you’re “not made of sugar.” When early Corona’s angry teens were in the news because their end-of-year party was canceled while they were already dressed, they were instantly blown away by someone who had experienced war.

The worst and the very worst

But guys, it’s not a competition, is it? Everyone experiences their feelings differently, and you can’t make an objective list of the bad, the worst, and the worst of everything. And even though it may be a small suffering, it still feels bad. The height of the bad – no, but the truth – is that people push their toxic positives on you. That you lost your laptop on the train or spilled tea on your white jacket and someone says, “Now you can at least buy a new laptop!” or “Luckily it’s not strawberry juice, you’d never take it out!”


The height of the bad – no, but it’s real – are the people who impose their toxic positivity on you

Chantal van der Leste

We’ve learned somewhere that it’s okay to be an optimist, but we’re all completely dazed. Negative feelings don’t go away if you compare them to something worse. It causes people to swallow their emotions and stop asking for help when they need it. how after? Prefer to admit your feelings. Just stop by and try them. Whether it’s a staple that ran out or an argument with your coworker. It will probably start right away.

Would you like to learn more about psychology and work? Read Chantal’s books Why Perfectionists Are Rarely Happy, 13 Tips Against Perfection (2021) and Our Mistaken At Work (2018).

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