“Like a punch in the face.” This is how Babette describes the departure of her youngest son, Sylvain, from home. For years she did everything for her children and her life largely revolved around them, until they suddenly left home. “That’s how it should be, of course, but I didn’t expect it to happen at all.”

“I’m such a nice mother,” thought Babette, “why would anyone leave here?” But that’s what her descendants did anyway. That’s why Babette didn’t know what to do with herself during the first few weeks. She cried about everything, every night. “I felt as indecisive as I was when I was 20, about my first job and my first house.”

Babette describes those first weeks as “a kind of second puberty,” where she had to experience everything for the first time. “I played well against the boys.” When her two sons called out of concern to ask if she was “eating well,” she replied: “Don’t worry, I’ll go to the supermarket checkout and we’ll talk.”

After a few weeks, the light came back on for Babette and she found her way in her new life. “I saw that life was completely open to me again. I didn’t have to do anything, now all I had to do was take my dog ​​Louis into account.” Babette can go anywhere she wants and she really likes it. “I wasn’t used to it anymore.”

Giving up her children was a huge challenge for Babette, because she had always been a committed mother. “For me it was a conscious choice to look at my children’s development and make small adjustments.” For example, Babette went to school camp and cleaned the toilets at school. “I may have gone further, but now I have two stable, polite, nice men.”

You can read the full interview with Babette van Veen in the latest edition of dragonfly.