I took some time this weekend to glance around at the intramural sport list and it was safe to say I was pretty disappointed.
The best sport in the world is missing: competitive eating.
Some of the best athletes in the world are competitive eaters. Look at guys like Joey Chestnut, Takeru Kobayashi and Eater X.
Why don’t we have this sport at Sam Houston?
Let’s face it, the offensive line needs a sport to cross-train in, and competitive eating is about as low impact on the knees as beer pong.
Of course, there would be the problem of finding the best places to compete, but there is a Golden Corral down the street. Or if the eaters get tired of Golden Corral, we could move shop down to Conroe for a Buffalo Wild Wings contest.
If you are reading this column and becoming inspired, let others know. This idea has me more fired up than Grayson Russell after he drinks Mountain Dew.
But no sport can be official unless we have rules. So how do you make rules for eating? Surely you could sample rules from the International Federation of Competitive eating. But not everyone could handle these rules, after all, most contestants will be arriving at the events hung-over.
The benefits of competitive eating greatly overshadow the drawbacks-the biggest benefit being the women.
What woman wouldn’t want a man who just shoved seven pounds of mashed potatoes down his throat?
Sure, the purists and the doctors will say that binge eating is bad for you and can lead to health problems. But so does alcohol, you can see how that has stopped students.
The best factor of competitive eating has to be the athletes. In every other sport you have to be in shape and work out-can you say overrated? This way any person walking in off the street can participate.
Also, this will be the first sport where having diabetes won’t be a big deal. In fact, it might be the only sport where not having diabetes will be considered an oddity.
Get hungry, Bearkats and let the eating/training begin.