And ‘Rita’ sounds so nice too

12 years ago Comments Off on And ‘Rita’ sounds so nice too

As this discouraging hurricane season progresses, it would seem that Mother Nature seeks to kick every Mardi Gras location off the map. With New Orleans halfway submerged and Texans evacuating as far as the moon, we’re left with one daunting question: what the heck is going on?

Is it really possible that the Gulf of Mexico has it in for us that bad? Is this what we get for throwing rocks at seagulls after they defecated all over our cars? The questions are endless, but it would appear that Rita’s goal is nothing short of a disaster comparable to that of 1900.

The city of Galveston is protected, for the most part, by a 17-foot wall built as a result of a category 4 storm that struck the city 105 years ago. Back in 1900, the city’s only fortifications were eight-foot sand dunes. With winds estimated around 135 miles per hour, Mother Nature’s storm of the century completely flattened most of the island and left between 6,000 and 12,000 people dead. As of now, the Galveston storm is still agreed to be the worst natural disaster in American history.

Galveston’s current seawall was built to battle the better duels the gulf had to offer. In the event that a category 3 storm or below were to hit the island, Galveston would sustain only moderate damage. Anything over this and it’s a hardy “check ya later” to Texas’ island paradise. Galveston’s murky, poo-like waters will sweep the streets in a flood of panicking porpoises and trash.

Basically it comes down to this: 2005 will be remembered as the freakiest storm season the states have ever seen. One monster storm is down with another brewing like a mad elephant poised to hit our area. Katrina victims can’t get comfortable anywhere without another storm looking forward to kneeing them in the groin. It’s time for us to get on the phone and call our families in and around Houston to toss around the proposition of a weekend visitation to Hunts-Vegas. Offer mommy and daddy dinner, tell them you miss them, and even cut them a deal that you’ll stop drunk-dialing on the weekends. Louisiana has suffered the wrought of the storm they long feared.

Looks like it’s our turn.